Grey heavens

There’s a lot that you taught me, too much to mention. And even though anger remained a dominate feeling towards you for a long time. Only now that I’m starting to look at the big picture, only now that I’m acquiring a dignifying closure.

Before you, I couldn’t understand death; it remained a vague concept. I couldn’t calculate eternity; it was beyond my consciousness. That was until you decided to leave, to sculpt all the ambiguity into a reality, a fact…

Before you, I wasn’t aware of all the shades of grey that exists. Life was so deceivingly comprehendible. Back then I judged, I’d blurt words unaware of the consequences. Pure irony how the more you grow up the more you’re in need of guidance, of a hand that leads you to safety.

I don’t remember how things used to be before you left. Did music sound different? Has poetry always been so sad? Did my tears feel so viciously cold?

Another prayer I throw to the emptiness… longing severely for us to reunite…