Everyday I get less and less forgiving
Less accepting…
less tolerating…
less tolerating…
Towards myself that is….
Everyday I feel less worthy of living,
For this is a permanent curse of having to change and change back from an angel to a monster, from a success to a big failure.
I don't want to act anymore. I wish everybody knew how hideous I really am. I wish everybody would stop loving me. I wish I'd be exiled to a desert of shame. At least I'll know I belong there.
But this unlivable. And it's even harder to think of what the future possibly holds for me. Won't it be easier for me and for everyone else if I was just gone? Vanished as if I never was?
May be I can run away. Live in the desert or something. Somewhere were there's no one around. I can raise goats or something. Or die of thirst in the middle of nowhere, with no one to burry me, left in the wild for the birds and the worms to eat.
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