sorry

I will say this...

Despite the fact that i know the stupidity of the act, I'm still going to do it.

Despite all the warnings and the red lights flashing in the horizon, I’m still going to do it.

despite all the signs god is trying to send me,I’m still going to do it.

Despite all the complexity and discomfort it might add to our lives, I'm still going to do it.

Despite the possible loss of you as friend, damn it, I'm still going to do it.

When we were together yesterday, everything seemed right, everything seemed in place.

And here I am, regretting that you took me back as a friend, because it’s very confusing now. And I can no longer fake unconcern of who you’re future lover might be, because I know for sure that no way I can let him be someone other than me

I don’t know if I love you, I don’t know what love is anyway. I’ve never been in love and at the moment I believe that love is something I’m incapable of.

I’m not trying to get us back together, because I don’t want to hurt you again. And I’m still trying to forgive myself for hurting you the first time.

I don’t know the purpose of saying this, I don’t know anything. Fuck this I hate me, I hate who I am and I hate what I am.